Sikh (Anand Karaj) wedding checklist

The families formally agree to the match, often with an ardaas at home or at the gurdwara.

Why it's done. Roka is often explained as "to stop," meaning the search for a match has ended, and kurmai is the engagement. Together they mark the two families coming together, often with an ardaas for the couple and an exchange of sweets and good wishes. These are Punjabi family customs rather than part of the Anand Karaj itself.

• Fix the date and place for the roka or kurmai

  Many families hold it at home or at the gurdwara with an ardaas. Agree a small, close-family guest list on both sides.

  3 weeks beforeBoth familiesBooking
• Arrange the ardaas with the granthi

  Ask the gurdwara office for a time slot. Offerings are usually a voluntary bheta, so ask what is customary there.

  2 weeks beforeBoth familiesRitual
• Buy rings or kara, mithai and dry fruits

  Rings can take 3–6 weeks if made to order, so start early if you want something special.

  10 days beforeBoth familiesGifts
• Order sweets and light food for guests

  A small caterer or halwai is enough for a family gathering. Confirm the head count two days before.

  7 days beforeBoth familiesFood
• Decide on shagun, if your families keep it optional

  Shagun is a symbolic blessing and is entirely optional. Keep it simple and agreed by both families.

  7 days beforeBoth familiesGifts

The groom's family drapes a red chunni or phulkari over the bride's head to welcome her.

Why it's done. The groom's family drapes a red chunni or phulkari over the bride's head, a sign that she is welcomed and accepted into their family. It is a Punjabi cultural custom, not a religious requirement.

• Buy a red chunni or phulkari for the bride

  Choose one the bride will enjoy wearing. Many families hold this on the same day as the kurmai.

  3 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Fix the visit with the bride's family

  Agree the date, time and how many people will come from the groom's side so the hosts can plan.

  2 weeks beforeGroom's familyGuests
• Pick a small gift for the bride, if you wish optional

  An outfit or a piece of jewellery for the bride is a custom in some families. It is optional.

  2 weeks beforeGroom's familyGifts
• Bring mithai for the bride's family

  Order a day or two ahead so it is fresh.

  2 days beforeGroom's familyFood

An evening of songs, dhol and dancing with family and friends.

Why it's done. An evening of songs, dhol and dancing that gathers family and friends before the wedding. It is a cultural celebration, not a religious rite, so families shape it however they like.

• Book the venue for the sangeet

  A banquet, lawn or large home terrace works. Ask the venue about their music cut-off time and power backup.

  5 months beforeBoth familiesBooking
• Book a DJ with sound and lights

  Book about 5 months ahead for peak dates. Get the end time and overtime rate in writing.

  5 months beforeBoth families₹50k–1.5L with sound and lightMusic
• Hire a choreographer, if family wants to perform optional

  Rehearsals usually start 4–8 weeks before. Fix rehearsal times that suit elders and working cousins.

  2 months beforeBoth families₹15k–50k basicMusic
• Book a dhol player

  Good dhol players are busy in the season. Book 6–12 weeks ahead.

  2 months beforeBoth families₹5k–12k for one playerMusic
• Finalise the menu and food count

  Confirm numbers with the caterer about a week before.

  3 weeks beforeBoth familiesFood
• Check the 10 pm loudspeaker rule with the venue

  Loudspeakers in open areas must stop by 10 pm in most places. Plan the programme so the best moments come early.

  2 weeks beforeBoth familiesLogistics

A continuous reading of the Guru Granth Sahib at home or at the gurdwara, ending a day or two before the wedding.

Why it's done. An akhand path is a continuous reading of the Guru Granth Sahib. Many families like to hold one before a wedding so that relatives can gather to listen to Gurbani and join the ardaas for the couple. Practice varies, so ask your granthi or gurdwara what they suggest.

• Book the granthi or pathi team

  Book 2–6 weeks ahead in the wedding season. Agree the start time so the bhog falls on the day you want.

  6 weeks beforeBride's familyBooking
• Prepare a clean room for the Guru Granth Sahib

  Arrange a clean, quiet room with a raised platform, fresh sheets and a canopy. Ask the granthi what is needed.

  7 days beforeBride's familyDecor
• Arrange langar for visitors during the path

  Relatives and neighbours drop in through the path. Plan simple vegetarian meals and tea.

  7 days beforeBride's familyFood
• Buy a rumala sahib and karah prasad ingredients

  Keep enough atta, ghee and sugar for karah prasad for all visitors across the path.

  5 days beforeBride's familyRitual
• Keep head coverings ready for guests

  Keep a basket of rumals or scarves at the door for anyone who arrives without one.

  3 days beforeBride's familyLogistics

The groom's family often holds its own path at home or at their gurdwara.

Why it's done. An akhand path is a continuous reading of the Guru Granth Sahib. Many families like to hold one before a wedding so that relatives can gather to listen to Gurbani and join the ardaas for the couple. Practice varies, so ask your granthi or gurdwara what they suggest.

• Book the granthi or pathi team

  Book 2–6 weeks ahead in the wedding season. Agree the start time so the bhog falls on the day you want.

  6 weeks beforeGroom's familyBooking
• Prepare a clean room for the Guru Granth Sahib

  Arrange a clean, quiet room with a raised platform, fresh sheets and a canopy. Ask the granthi what is needed.

  7 days beforeGroom's familyDecor
• Arrange langar for visitors during the path

  Plan simple vegetarian meals and tea for relatives and neighbours who come to listen.

  7 days beforeGroom's familyFood
• Buy a rumala sahib and karah prasad ingredients

  Keep enough atta, ghee and sugar for karah prasad for all visitors across the path.

  5 days beforeGroom's familyRitual

Turmeric, flour and mustard oil paste is applied to the bride, and her hands are decorated with mehndi.

Why it's done. In maiyan, female friends and relatives apply vatna, a paste of turmeric and mustard oil, to make the bride glow for her wedding day. Traditionally she then stays at home until the wedding, believed to keep away the evil eye. Mehndi on her hands is a joyful part of the same days. These are Punjabi cultural customs.

• Book the mehndi artist

  Book 3–4 months ahead for peak dates. Ask how many helpers they bring for guests' hands.

  4 months beforeBride's familyBridal ₹5k–50k+; guests ₹150–700 per handBeauty
• Book a dhol for the maiyan optional

  Optional, but it brings the house alive. A few hours is usually enough.

  6 weeks beforeBride's family₹8k–15k for about 3 hoursMusic
• Do a henna patch test

  Test the artist's cone on a small patch of skin to rule out a reaction.

  4 weeks beforeBride's familyBeauty
• Plan yellow or green outfits for the family

  Pick clothes that can take a turmeric stain. The bride needs an outfit she will not have to change while the mehndi dries.

  4 weeks beforeBride's familyClothes & jewellery
• Arrange snacks and keep the bride fed

  Mehndi takes 4–6 hours. Put one cousin in charge of feeding the bride and giving her water.

  7 days beforeBride's familyFood
• Get maiyan items ready

  Haldi, besan or atta, mustard oil, four diyas and a red cloth or phulkari to hold over the bride. Keep old clothes for her to wear.

  5 days beforeBride's familyRitual

The same turmeric and mustard oil ritual at the groom's home.

Why it's done. As at the bride's home, relatives apply vatna, a paste of turmeric and mustard oil, so the groom looks fresh and glowing for the wedding. Traditionally he then stays at home until the wedding, believed to keep away the evil eye. It is a Punjabi cultural custom.

• Plan yellow outfits for the family

  Choose clothes that can take a turmeric stain.

  4 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Do a small mehndi for the groom, if wanted optional

  Many grooms have a simple design. Ask the bride's artist or a local one.

  4 weeks beforeGroom's familyBeauty
• Get maiyan items ready

  Haldi, besan or atta, mustard oil, four diyas and a red cloth to hold over the groom. Keep old clothes for him.

  5 days beforeGroom's familyRitual
• Arrange tea and snacks for relatives

  Plan for neighbours and relatives who drop in.

  5 days beforeGroom's familyFood

A lively night procession where women carry a decorated pot of lamps and dance with dhol. The groom's side often holds its own.

Why it's done. Jaggo means "wake up." Late into the night the family dances and sings, and a maternal aunt carries a decorated brass or copper pot lit with oil lamps to the homes of friends and relatives, where the party is welcomed with sweets before dancing on. It is a joyful Punjabi custom.

• Book the dhol for the night

  Book early in peak season and fix the hours in advance.

  6 weeks beforeBride's family₹5k–12k for one playerMusic
• Collect the boliyan and folk songs

  Ask the elders to teach the younger ones a few boliyan. Print or share them on the family group.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyMusic
• Decorate the gaagar (pot) and sota with bells

  The mami traditionally carries the jaggo. Keep mustard oil and wicks for the diyas.

  7 days beforeBride's familyDecor
• Plan the route and finish by 10 pm

  Loudspeakers and dhol in public areas must usually stop by 10 pm. Tell the neighbours and keep it within your street or colony.

  7 days beforeBride's familyLogistics
• Keep a fire-safety person with the pot

  Open flames and dupattas do not mix. Keep water and a sensible adult close to the jaggo.

  1 day beforeBride's familyLogistics

On the wedding morning the bride's mama gives her the red and white chooda, and kaleere are tied to it.

Why it's done. The bride's mama (mother's brother) gives her the chooda, a set of red bangles, and relatives touch it to bless her married life. Family and friends then tie kaleere, dangling ornaments seen as wishes for prosperity and happiness. By playful tradition, if a piece of the kaleere falls on an unmarried girl, she is said to be next to marry.

• Order the chooda with the bride present for sizing

  A chooda sized without the bride is a common mistake. Go together 1–2 months before. Traditionally the mama's family gives it.

  6 weeks beforeBride's familyClothes & jewellery
• Buy the kaleere

  Choose kaleere that are light enough for the bride to wear all day. Friends and cousins tie them after the chooda.

  4 weeks beforeBride's familyClothes & jewellery
• Plan the mama's gift, if the family keeps it optional

  Some families give the mama a turban or outfit. It is optional and should be simple.

  4 weeks beforeBride's familyGifts
• Ask the photographer to arrive early

  The chooda is usually the first ritual of the day and often very early. Confirm the reporting time in writing.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyLogistics
• Arrange kachchi lassi and the ceremony corner

  The chooda is dipped in raw milk and water. Set up a clean corner with seating for the mama and mami.

  1 day beforeBride's familyRitual
• Do the gharoli bath at each home

  A bhabhi or sister fetches water, often from the gurdwara, in a decorated pot for the bath. Plan who goes and when.

  1 day beforeBride's familyRitual

The groom's turban and sehra are tied at home, and the baraat sets out for the gurdwara.

Why it's done. After the groom is dressed, his turban is tied and his sister ties the sehra (a veil of flowers or beads) on his head, called sehrabandi. Then the baraat, the groom's party, sets out with music for the gurdwara. These are Punjabi cultural customs around the religious ceremony.

• Order the groom's sherwani or achkan

  Allow 3–4 months for a custom piece and plan two fittings.

  4 months beforeGroom's family₹8k–25k mid-marketClothes & jewellery
• Book the ghodi or a decorated car

  Ghodis are scarce on peak dates and can arrive late. Confirm a reporting time 30 minutes earlier than you need.

  3 months beforeGroom's familyGet quotes; peak-date surcharge is commonBooking
• Book the dhol or band for outside the gurdwara

  Dhol and dancing are not allowed inside gurdwara premises. Plan for music to stop at the gate.

  3 months beforeGroom's family₹10k–25k for an experienced baraat dholMusic
• Arrange the pagg, sehra, kalgi and kirpan

  Choose the turban colour with the bride's family if you want to match. Fix who will tie the pagg on the morning.

  4 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Arrange transport for the baraat

  Count baraatis and book buses or cars. Share the pick-up time and gurdwara location the day before.

  4 weeks beforeGroom's familyTravel
• Plan turbans for close family

  Count the baraatis who want a matching turban or safa, and book someone to tie them in the morning.

  3 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Dress the sarbala optional

  The young boy who accompanies the groom needs a small matching outfit and turban.

  3 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Fix a departure time with a buffer

  Laavan are usually in the morning and the gurdwara may have the next booking after you. Leave 45–60 minutes of buffer.

  7 days beforeGroom's familyLogistics
• Name a baraat coordinator

  One person keeps time, keeps the baraat moving and reminds everyone: no alcohol or smoking near the gurdwara.

  7 days beforeGroom's familyLogistics

The bride's family welcomes the baraat. After an ardaas, relatives of the same relation meet and garland each other.

Why it's done. Milni means "meeting." After an ardaas, senior relatives of the same relation from each side, such as the two fathers or the two eldest uncles, meet and garland each other. It is a warm way for the two families to be introduced and to honour each other.

• Make the milni pairs list

  Match relatives by relation, such as father with father and mama with mama. Share the list with the groom's side.

  3 weeks beforeBride's familyGuests
• Arrange tea and breakfast for the baraat

  Serve it at the gurdwara hall or a nearby place. Confirm what the gurdwara allows.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyFood
• Decide on milni tokens, if the family keeps them optional

  Garlands and hugs are the heart of the milni. Any token beyond that is optional and should be agreed by both sides.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyGifts
• Order fresh garlands for the milni

  Count one garland for each person in the milni, plus a few spares.

  3 days beforeBride's familyDecor

The four laavan around the Guru Granth Sahib, with kirtan by the ragis, ardaas and hukamnama. This is the wedding itself.

Why it's done. The four laavan, hymns by Guru Ram Das in the Guru Granth Sahib, are read and sung while the couple, joined by a palla, walk around the Guru Granth Sahib. Each round describes a stage of the soul's journey: living righteously and remembering the Name, letting go of ego, divine love in the sangat, and finding peace in God's will. Marriage is seen as two souls making that journey together, with the Guru and the sangat as witnesses.

• Order the bride's wedding outfit

  Lehenga or salwar suit with a chunni that covers the head. Couture takes 6–9 months; plan fittings 6–12 weeks before.

  7 months beforeBride's family₹50k–1.5L middle-class rangeClothes & jewellery
• Book the gurdwara for a morning slot

  Book 3–6 months ahead for peak dates. Ask the gurdwara office what papers, fees or bheta they need; rules differ from one gurdwara to another.

  5 months beforeBride's familyBooking
• Book the granthi and ragi jatha

  Book them with the gurdwara at the same time. Confirm the shabads and timing about 4 weeks before.

  5 months beforeBride's familyBooking
• Ask the gurdwara about its rules

  Ask about dress code, photo and video limits, approved caterers, and whether both partners must be Sikh. Every gurdwara is different.

  4 months beforeBoth familiesRitual
• Submit documents to the gurdwara

  Usually ID and age proof and photos of both. Ask if they issue a marriage certificate, which you will need for registration.

  4 weeks beforeBoth familiesLegal
• Confirm final details with the gurdwara

  Reconfirm the time, granthi, ragis, langar arrangements and who holds the pulla.

  4 weeks beforeBoth familiesRitual
• Brief the photographer on gurdwara rules

  Share where they may stand and what is not allowed in the darbar hall. Ask them to cover grandparents too.

  2 weeks beforeBoth familiesLogistics
• Buy the rumala sahib and karah prasad offering

  Ask the gurdwara whether you should bring these or whether they arrange them.

  7 days beforeBoth familiesRitual
• Arrange head coverings and shoe storage for guests

  Keep a basket of rumals at the entrance and check the shoe desk can handle your numbers.

  7 days beforeBoth familiesLogistics
• Seat the elders comfortably

  Most sit on the floor in the darbar. Ask the gurdwara for a few chairs at the side for elders who need them.

  3 days beforeBoth familiesGuests

Langar is served after the laavan, then the bride leaves with the groom in the doli.

Why it's done. After the Anand Karaj, guests share langar, the meal from the gurdwara kitchen. Then comes the doli, the bride's farewell: by custom she throws puffed rice over her head as good wishes for her parents' home before leaving with her husband. It is an emotional moment for both families.

• Arrange langar with the gurdwara or an approved caterer

  Food in the gurdwara is vegetarian. Some gurdwaras allow only their own sevadars or approved caterers, so ask first.

  2 months beforeBride's familyFood
• Decorate the doli car

  Book the car and flowers in advance. Keep a phulkari and puffed rice or rice for the send-off.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyDecor
• Confirm the langar head count

  Give the final number of guests from both sides about a week before.

  7 days beforeBride's familyFood
• Plan the welcome at the groom's home

  The groom's mother usually does paani vaarna at the door. Keep the water, lota and small games ready.

  7 days beforeGroom's familyRitual
• Pack the bride's bag for the doli

  Pack a change of clothes, medicines, phone charger and essentials for the first night.

  3 days beforeBride's familyLogistics

A dinner party for friends and the wider circle, the same evening or a day or two later.

Why it's done. The reception is a social celebration rather than a religious rite. It gives friends, colleagues and the wider circle a relaxed chance to meet the newly married couple, share a meal and give their blessings.

• Book the reception venue

  Book 8–12 months ahead for peak dates. Ask about power backup, parking and the music cut-off time.

  8 months beforeGroom's family₹1–5L mid-rangeBooking
• Book the caterer and do a tasting

  Decide veg or non-veg and whether there will be a bar. Taste the menu before you sign.

  6 months beforeGroom's family₹500–2,500 per plateFood
• Book the stage decorator

  Share photos of what you like and get a written list of what is included.

  6 months beforeGroom's family₹50k–2L basicDecor
• Book a DJ or live band

  Get the end time and overtime rate in writing.

  5 months beforeGroom's family₹50k–1.5L with sound and lightMusic
• Plan return gifts for guests optional

  Small sweets boxes or keepsakes for guests are a nice touch.

  6 weeks beforeGroom's familyGifts
• Apply for a liquor permit if serving alcohol optional

  Depends on your state and venue. Many venues hold their own licence; otherwise apply about 15 days ahead.

  2 weeks beforeGroom's familyLegal

• Check which gurdwara you will marry at, and its eligibility rules

  Many gurdwaras ask that both partners be Sikh and follow their own dress and photo rules. Visit the gurdwara office early and ask.

  9 months beforeBoth familiesRitual
• Fix the wedding date with both families and the gurdwara

  Anand Karaj does not need a muhurat, but peak-season mornings fill fast. Hold the date at the gurdwara before booking other vendors.

  8 months beforeBoth familiesBooking
• Collect documents for Anand Marriage Act registration

  Keep age and address proof, photos, witness IDs and the gurdwara certificate together. Registration happens after the wedding.

  4 weeks beforeBoth familiesLegal
• Plan the langar and seva helpers

  Ask cousins and friends to help with seva at the gurdwara: shoes, head coverings, water and guiding elders.

  4 weeks beforeBride's familyLogistics
• Brief all vendors on no alcohol or smoking near the gurdwara

  Tell the band, drivers and baraat coordinator so there are no embarrassing moments at the gate.

  2 weeks beforeBoth familiesLogistics
• Register the marriage under the Anand Marriage Act

  Do this in the weeks after the wedding. In Punjab the Tehsildar or Naib Tehsildar registers it; Delhi has its own rules. Where your state has no Anand rules, register under the state's general act.

  On the dayBoth familiesSmall fee; ask your registrarLegal