Wedding checklists / Parsi
Parsi wedding checklist
A Parsi wedding centres on the lagan or ashirvad, held just after sunset at an agiary or baug, with two priests and two Parsi witnesses. Customs like madav saro and adarni come in the days before, and the lagan nu bhonu feast follows.
7 functions40 tasksSplit between both families
Adravanu (engagement) अदरावनु (Adravanu) – सगाई
The engagement, where the groom's family visits the bride, who stands on a patlo, and achu michu is performed.
Why it's done. Adravanu is the formal engagement. "Adra" is said to mean fire, and earthen lamps are lit for the occasion. Achumichu is done for the bride: a tray with items such as an egg, coconut, rice and water is circled around her as a protective welcome.
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Pick clothes for the bride, if your family keeps this optional
In many families the groom's side brings the bride a sari and bangles. It is a custom, not a must.
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Buy the rings optional
Allow 3–6 weeks if made to order.
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Fix the day with the bride's family
Agree the date, time and how many people will come from the groom's side.
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Order sweets and snacks
Plan for the visiting family and close relatives.
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Prepare the ses tray
The tray usually holds a coconut, betel leaves and nuts, a raw egg, rice, water and a divo. Ask an elder to check.
Madav saro (bride) माडव सरो (Madav saro) – दुल्हन
Each family plants a young tree, often mango, in a pot with prayers. It is watered until the eighth day after the wedding.
Why it's done. Each family plants a young tree, usually mango, in a pot with prayers by the family priest and places it at the entrance of the home. It is a wish for fertility and a full, fruitful life ahead.
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Book the family priest
Ask your family priest for a suitable time on the day.
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Buy a sapling and a large pot
A young mango plant is traditional. Choose a pot big enough to keep it healthy until it is transplanted.
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Make a watering roster
Someone must water the plant every day until the eighth day after the wedding. Put names and dates on the family group.
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Arrange tea and snacks for relatives
Plan for close family who come for the prayers.
Madav saro (groom) माडव सरो (Madav saro) – दूल्हा
The groom's family plants its own sapling with prayers.
Why it's done. Each family plants a young tree, usually mango, in a pot with prayers by the family priest and places it at the entrance of the home. It is a wish for fertility and a full, fruitful life ahead.
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Book the family priest
Ask your family priest for a suitable time on the day.
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Buy a sapling and a large pot
A young mango plant is traditional.
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Make a watering roster
Someone must water the plant every day until the eighth day after the wedding.
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Arrange tea and snacks for relatives
Plan for close family who come for the prayers.
Adarni अदरनी
The groom's family visits the bride's home a few days before the wedding.
Why it's done. In adarni the groom's family visits the bride's home a few days before the wedding with gifts for her, such as clothes. It is a warm welcome for the bride, followed by festive food like sev and dahi. Sources differ on the exact day.
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Prepare gifts for the bride, if your family keeps this optional
In this custom the groom's family brings gifts for the bride. It is optional and up to the family.
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Fix the visit with the bride's family
Agree the time and how many people will come.
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Plan refreshments for the visiting family
The bride's family usually hosts. Keep it simple.
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Bring sweets
Order a few days ahead so they are fresh.
Lagan (ashirvad) लगन – आशीर्वाद
The wedding ceremony, held just after sunset, in which two priests bless the couple before two Parsi witnesses.
Why it's done. The couple sit facing east with a cloth curtain between them. The priests bless them and ask for their consent before two witnesses. In hathevaro ("hand-fastening") the priest joins their right hands and binds them with thread seven times while prayers are recited, a sign of their union. When the curtain drops they throw rice at each other, and by playful tradition whoever throws first "wins."
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Book the baug or agiary
Popular baugs fill early in the season. Ask what is included and the timings for the evening.
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Book the two officiating priests
Book your family priest and a second dastur. Confirm the start time just after sunset.
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Order the bride's sari
A white sari, often a gara, is traditional. Embroidered garas take time, so start early.
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Arrange the groom's dagli and pagdi or fetah
Allow time for tailoring and one fitting.
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Confirm two Parsi witnesses with ID
The law needs two Parsi witnesses besides the priest. They also sign the certificate, so remind them to bring ID.
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Check the sudreh and kusti for both
Both bride and groom wear the sudreh and kusti. Keep a fresh set ready.
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Brief the photographer on the ceremony
Share the timings and ask the priests where the photographer may stand.
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Plan haath borvanu, if your family enjoys it optional
A playful custom where the bride's sister dips the groom's hand in water. Keep it light and friendly.
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Prepare the ses tray and divo
Coconut, betel leaves and nuts, a raw egg, rice, water and a lamp. Ask an elder to check before you leave.
Lagan nu bhonu लगन नु भोणु
The wedding feast after the lagan, traditionally served on banana leaves.
Why it's done. Bhonu means a meal or feast. The lagan nu bhonu is the family's way of celebrating with everyone who came, and Parsi weddings are well known for their generous dinners after the ceremony.
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Book a Parsi caterer
Good Parsi caterers are booked early in the season. Ask for a tasting before you sign.
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Book a band or music for after dinner optional
Check the baug's music cut-off time; loudspeakers usually stop by 10 pm.
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Finalise the menu
Patra ni machhi and other classics are often served. Remember guests with dietary needs.
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Plan the seating and table service
Plan rows of tables for banana-leaf service and seats for elders near the entrance.
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Confirm the final count with the caterer
Give the final number of guests a week before.
Planting the madav saro माडव सरो (Madav saro) को ज़मीन में लगाना
On the eighth day after the wedding the sapling is moved from its pot into the ground.
Why it's done. The sapling planted before the wedding is watered every morning until the eighth day after the wedding. Then it is moved into the ground at a place the couple choose, a living reminder of the hope for a full and fruitful life together.
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Keep the watering going until the eighth day
With everyone busy after the wedding, remind the person on the roster each day.
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Find a place to plant the sapling
A garden, colony or agiary compound that will look after the tree.
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Tell both families the time
A few close relatives usually come. Keep it small.
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Transplant the sapling
Ask the family priest whether a short prayer is customary.
Across the whole wedding
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Fix the date with both families and the priests
Hold the baug and the priests before booking other vendors.
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Check that the Parsi Marriage Act applies to you
The Parsi Act covers marriages where both partners are Parsi. If not, ask a lawyer about the Special Marriage Act, which needs 30 days' notice.
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Keep ID and age proof ready for both
Keep Aadhaar or passport and photos ready for the certificate and later records.
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Sign the marriage certificate at the ceremony
The priest, the couple and the two witnesses sign it right after the lagan. The priest sends it to the registrar; the husband pays the fee.
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Collect your copy of the marriage certificate
Follow up with the priest or registrar in the weeks after, and keep certified copies for passports and name changes.
Also see the month-by-month Indian wedding checklist for the planning every wedding needs, whatever the tradition.
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