Marwari and Rajasthani wedding checklist

The families formally agree to the match. The bride's family applies tilak on the groom's forehead and sweets are exchanged.

Why it's done. Roka means 'to stop': the search for a match is over and the families formally agree to it. With the tilak, the bride's family marks the groom's forehead as a sign that they accept and bless him. Many families now combine roka and engagement into one function.

• Confirm the roka date with the pandit

  Ask the pandit to shortlist wedding muhurat dates at the same time.

  4 weeks beforeBoth families₹5k–20k (approx., platform rates)Ritual
• Choose outfits for the couple and parents

  Festive but light; keep the heavy poshak for later.

  3 weeks beforeBoth familiesClothes & jewellery
• Order sweets and dry-fruit baskets

  From a trusted halwai. Keep some extra boxes.

  7 days beforeBoth familiesFood
• Prepare the tilak thaal (ritual items only)

  Roli, rice, haldi, supari and a coconut. Keep the tilak to the blessing itself.

  3 days beforeBride's familyRitual
• Bless the couple with shagun (optional) optional

  Elders of both sides bless the couple. Simple, two-way and up to the family.

  On the dayBoth familiesGifts

Henna for the bride's hands and feet and for the women guests, with Rajasthani folk songs.

Why it's done. Henna is applied on the bride's hands and feet at a festive gathering of the women of the family. A well-loved folk belief says the darker the colour, the more she will be loved in her new home, and hiding the groom's name or initials in the design is a playful tradition. Above all it is a relaxed day of music and togetherness before the wedding.

• Book the mehendi artist

  Ask for a team for guests. Rajasthani designs are detailed and take hours.

  3 months beforeBride's family₹25k–60k team (approx., Delhi rates)Booking
• Choose the bride's mehendi lehariya or bandhej outfit

  Bright lehariya or bandhej in green or yellow is traditional.

  2 months beforeBride's familyClothes & jewellery
• Do a henna patch test

  Avoid black henna; test a small spot for allergies.

  4 weeks beforeBride's familyBeauty
• Plan cones for guests

  About 1–2 cones per guest plus bridal cones.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyLogistics
• Plan snacks: kachori, mirchi vada and chaat

  Finger food guests can eat with wet mehendi.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyFood
• Assign someone to feed the bride

  Families often forget the bride can't eat by herself for hours.

  1 day beforeBride's familyLogistics

A Ganesh puja (with naandi) at each family's home that formally opens the wedding rituals.

Why it's done. Lord Ganesha is invoked first so that the wedding goes ahead without obstacles. In the naandi Ganesh puja, Ganesha and the family deities are worshipped as a formal invitation to the wedding, and each family holds it at home to open the wedding rituals.

• Book the pandit for Ganpati sthapana

  Usually the family pandit. Confirm the time so it doesn't clash with mehendi or bhaat.

  4 weeks beforeEach family₹5k–20k (approx., platform rates)Booking
• Get the puja samagri list from the pandit

  Ganesh idol, kalash, roli, moli, rice, flowers and sweets. Ask what he brings.

  10 days beforeEach familyRitual
• Invite close family for the puja

  Usually close family only.

  7 days beforeEach familyGuests
• Set up the puja corner at home

  A clean corner with a chowki and rangoli. The idol stays until the wedding is over.

  2 days beforeEach familyDecor

The bride's mother's brothers and their family (maternal family) arrive with blessings and are welcomed with songs and aarti.

Why it's done. In mayra, the mother of the bride or groom formally invites her own parental family (bhaat nyotana), and her brother and his family come to bless the couple (bhaat bharna). It honours the lifelong bond between a woman and her parental home. Families explain its history differently; today it is above all a blessing and a celebration of the mother's family.

• Plan stay and travel for the mama's family (maternal family)

  Book rooms and pick-ups for the maternal family coming from out of town.

  4 weeks beforeEach familyTravel
• Visit the maternal home for bhaat nyotana (maternal family)

  The mother formally invites her brothers to the wedding, traditionally with a visit, sweets and songs. Families often forget to fix this visit early.

  3 weeks beforeEach familyRitual
• Fix the mayra timing with the mama's family (maternal family)

  Mayra is usually 1–2 days before the wedding; some families hold it on the wedding day.

  3 weeks beforeEach familyRitual
• Plan a meal for the mayra guests

  A lunch or dinner for the maternal family and relatives.

  7 days beforeEach familyFood
• Arrange the aarti thaal and welcome at the door

  The mother welcomes her brothers' family with aarti and tilak while the women sing mayra geet.

  2 days beforeEach familyRitual
• Accept the mama's blessings and clothes (optional) optional

  The maternal family may bring clothes for the family to wear at the wedding. This is their choice; keep it simple and never set expectations.

  On the dayEach familyGifts

Women of both families sing traditional wedding songs; many families add a sangeet with dances. Ratri joga, an all-night gathering, may follow.

Why it's done. Geet are traditional wedding songs sung by the women of the family, and the geet samelan or mehfil is a night of music and celebration for the whole family. Ratri joga, held the night before the wedding, invokes the blessings of the ancestors for a happy married life. Many families now add a sangeet with dances.

• Book the DJ with sound and lights

  Check hours and the 10 pm loudspeaker cut-off.

  5 months beforeBoth families₹50k–1.5L with sound and light (approx.)Music
• Book the choreographer

  Rehearsals start 4–8 weeks before.

  4 months beforeBoth families₹15k–50k basic; ₹1–2L high-end (approx.)Booking
• Book an anchor for the evening

  Share a run-sheet with family names.

  4 months beforeBoth families₹25k–60k (approx.)Booking
• Choose outfits: poshak, lehariya and safas

  Rajputi poshak or lehariya sarees for women; colourful safas for men.

  2 months beforeBoth familiesClothes & jewellery
• Start dance rehearsals

  Keep one easy ghoomar for the elders.

  6 weeks beforeBoth familiesMusic
• Arrange the dholak and folk singers for geet

  Traditional banna-banni and Rajasthani geet. A local manganiyar or langa group can perform if you wish.

  4 weeks beforeBoth familiesMusic
• Plan the ratri joga night (optional) optional

  An all-night vigil of songs before the wedding day. Plan tea and snacks through the night.

  7 days beforeBoth familiesRitual

Oil and pithi (haldi paste) are applied on the bride at home by the women of the family. After pithi, the bride traditionally does not leave the house until the wedding.

Why it's done. The wedding day traditionally begins with telbaan: the bride or groom is fed jaggery sweets, blessed by the maternal uncles and anointed with mustard oil and curd. Then comes pithi dastoor, the Marwari haldi, where a paste of turmeric, sandalwood and gram flour gives a bridal glow before a bath. Afterwards they traditionally stay at home until the wedding.

• Arrange dholak and women singers for banna-banni geet

  Women of the family sing; a dholak player adds energy.

  4 weeks beforeEach familyMusic
• Choose the bride's pithi outfit

  A yellow outfit that can be stained. Many families use a pila odhna or yellow safa.

  3 weeks beforeBride's familyClothes & jewellery
• Choose the groom's pithi outfit

  A yellow outfit that can be stained. Many families use a pila odhna or yellow safa.

  3 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Gather the pithi and telbaan ingredients

  Haldi, besan, sandalwood, oil and rose water. Ask an elder for the family recipe.

  3 days beforeEach familyRitual
• Cover floors and plan the bath area

  Pithi is messy; keep old sheets and towels ready.

  1 day beforeEach familyLogistics
• Bless with shagun from the mamas (maternal family, optional) optional

  The maternal uncles traditionally bless the child at telbaan. Simple and optional.

  On the dayEach familyGifts

The groom's sister dresses him and his mother feeds the ghodi; after the Ganesh puja the baraat leaves. At the bride's door he touches the toran with a stick or sword.

Why it's done. Nikasi is the groom's ceremonial departure: his sister ties the sehra and a golden thread on his horse to guard against evil, a priest does a short puja, and his mother feeds the horse. At the bride's door he touches the decorated toran with a neem twig or sword, traditionally believed to ward off bad luck before he enters. Families differ on the object used.

• Book the band and ghodi

  Peak dates sell out. Get in writing: ghodi included, musicians, lights, hours, arrival time.

  6 months beforeGroom's family₹40k–1L standard band (approx.); ghodi extra in peak seasonBooking
• Order the groom's sherwani or achkan

  Custom pieces need 3–4 months; final fitting 2–3 weeks before.

  4 months beforeGroom's family₹8k–25k mid-market (approx.)Clothes & jewellery
• Buy the safa, sehra and mojaris

  A Rajasthani safa in the family's colour. Break in the mojaris.

  4 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Arrange the sword or kataar for the groom

  Many Marwari and Rajput grooms carry a sword or kataar for the toran.

  4 weeks beforeGroom's familyRitual
• Order safas for all baraatis

  Count every man plus spares. Book someone to tie safas on the day.

  3 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Appoint a baraat coordinator

  Families often forget that a late baraat pushes the muhurat. Fix a departure time with buffer.

  2 weeks beforeGroom's familyLogistics
• Prepare the toran at the bride's door

  The decorated wooden toran is hung at the bride's entrance.

  3 days beforeBride's familyDecor
• Keep chana and gur for the ghodi

  The groom's mother feeds the mare before he mounts.

  1 day beforeGroom's familyRitual

The bride's mother welcomes the baraat (baraat dhukaav), then jaimala, kanyadaan, the pheras and sindoor. The groom's father fills the bride's pallu in aanjhala bharai.

Why it's done. With Agni, the sacred fire, as witness, the couple walk the pheras; in Marwari families the bride often leads the first three rounds and the groom the next four. In the oldest texts each of the seven steps is a blessing: nourishment, strength, wealth, comfort, children, the seasons and friendship. Families also use other versions of the seven promises. In aanjhala bharai the groom's father drapes a chunari over the bride, welcoming her into the family.

• Confirm the wedding muhurat with the pandit

  Fix the muhurat before booking anything else. Peak dates go fast.

  10 months beforeBride's family₹5k–20k (approx., platform rates)Ritual
• Order the bridal poshak or lehenga

  Order 6–9 months ahead; heavy gota or zari work takes 4–6 months.

  8 months beforeBride's family₹50k–1.5L middle-class range (approx.)Clothes & jewellery
• Plan the sajjan goth feast for the baraat

  The bride's family hosts a traditional meal for the groom's family. Dal-baati-churma and ghevar are favourites.

  2 months beforeBride's familyFood
• Finish the final fitting

  Take the shoes and borla or rakhdi so the look is set.

  3 weeks beforeBride's familyClothes & jewellery
• Get the havan samagri list from the pandit

  Ghee, samagri, wood and the cloth for granthi bandhan.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyRitual
• Send the korath invitation to the groom's family

  The bride's male relatives and the pandit formally invite the groom's family to the wedding.

  7 days beforeBride's familyRitual
• Order fresh jaimalas

  Delivered on the day, with a spare.

  7 days beforeBride's familyDecor
• Prepare the aarti thaal for baraat dhukaav

  The bride's mother welcomes the groom at the door.

  2 days beforeBride's familyRitual
• Plan joota chupai with the bride's sisters (optional) optional

  A playful game of hiding the groom's shoes.

  1 day beforeBride's familyGifts
• Plan aanjhala bharai with the groom's father (optional) optional

  The groom's father places a blessing in the bride's pallu to welcome her. Simple and up to the family.

  On the dayGroom's familyGifts

The bride's farewell from her parents' home after the pheras.

Why it's done. Vidaai is the bride's farewell to her parents' home. In Marwari families a thali puja is done, she carries a dried coconut filled with sugar and coins for her mother-in-law, and a coconut is broken by the car before she leaves. Throwing rice is traditionally explained as thanks to her parents and a wish that their home stays full. Some families today see it as a farewell and a blessing rather than an ending.

• Arrange the decorated car and driver

  Decide which family arranges the car.

  3 weeks beforeBride's familyTravel
• Pack and label the bride's bags

  Keep the reception outfit in a separate, clearly marked bag.

  3 days beforeBride's familyLogistics
• Keep a coconut and rice for the vidaai rites

  The bride throws rice behind her; a coconut is part of the farewell rites in many Marwari families.

  1 day beforeBride's familyRitual
• Plan a quiet moment for close family

  Keep the area clear and have water ready.

  1 day beforeBride's familyLogistics

The bride enters her new home, plays the welcome games, is blessed in muh dikhai, and the groom's mother gives her lac bangles (chura).

Why it's done. In the Marwari welcome the bride knocks over a copper jar of rice, steps through red colour leaving her footprints, and touches ghee and jaggery, all traditionally for prosperity; the couple then light a lamp at the family shrine. In muh dikhai an elder woman unveils her, introduces her to the family, and she receives their blessings. The chura from her mother-in-law is a loving welcome.

• Buy the lac chura for the bride

  The groom's mother traditionally puts lac bangles on the bride. Get the size from the bride's family.

  3 weeks beforeGroom's familyClothes & jewellery
• Decorate the entrance and the couple's room

  Keep the room ready before the wedding day.

  3 days beforeGroom's familyDecor
• Prepare the rice kalash and aarti thaal

  Kalash at the door, aarti and a plate of kumkum water for her footprints.

  1 day beforeGroom's familyRitual
• Arrange the welcome games

  Ring-in-milk or similar games; keep them short.

  1 day beforeGroom's familyRitual
• Plan the muh dikhai with the women of the family (optional) optional

  Elders bless the bride. Any gift is for the bride and up to the family.

  1 day beforeGroom's familyGifts

The couple visits the bride's parents' home a couple of days after the wedding for a meal.

Why it's done. Pag phera is the bride's first visit back to her parents' home after the wedding, together with her husband, a few days later. It is marked by a family meal and blessings, and is a warm reminder that her bond with her parents' home continues.

• Fix the pag phera day with both families

  Usually a couple of days after the wedding.

  2 weeks beforeBride's familyRitual
• Plan the pag phera lunch

  A home-cooked meal with the bride's favourite dishes.

  3 days beforeBride's familyFood
• Arrange travel for the couple

  A car to bring the couple over and back.

  2 days beforeBride's familyTravel
• Bless the couple with a small gift (optional) optional

  Entirely the family's choice.

  On the dayBride's familyGifts

• Start the bride's skincare routine

  Begin about six months out. Never a first-ever facial in the final week.

  6 months beforeBride's familyBeauty
• Plan outfits for parents and siblings for each function

  Poshak, lehariya, bandhej, safas. Families often forget the grandparents.

  4 months beforeBoth familiesClothes & jewellery
• Order safas in the family colour for close relatives

  Agree the safa colours for each function so photos look coordinated.

  4 weeks beforeBoth familiesClothes & jewellery
• Make a family photo list including the mama's family

  Missing portraits with the maternal family is a common regret.

  2 weeks beforeBoth familiesLogistics
• Plan byah haath with the women of the family optional

  About a week before, the women of the family start the wedding work by making mangodi together. Buy the dal and spices in advance.

  7 days beforeBride's familyRitual
• Plan mudda tikka (sagai) if your family holds it optional

  Some families hold the formal engagement 1–2 days before the wedding. Fix it with the pandit.

  2 days beforeBoth familiesRitual